Self-confidence is very important, it can make such a difference in every area of our lives. Sometimes we lack self-confidence in some or even, all areas of our lives.
The power of self confidence is amazing and can make a massive difference in every part of life.
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What actually is Self Confidence?
- Confidence is a feeling of trust in someone or something. To be self-confident is to have confidence in yourself. Self-confident people don’t doubt themselves. This is usually a positive word. You can be self-confident without being cocky, arrogant, or overconfident. If you know what you’re doing, you have every reason to be self-confident.
Self-confidence really is Important
You don’t need conventional beauty or handsomeness to This comes across as confidence and it happens to be very attractive.
The same goes for your career and the same goes for the way you fit in with your friends.
We all know people who are supremely confident and we know that they are highly attractive and highly successful. We all want to be like those people. And the reason for this is that confidence sends the signal that you are higher in the hierarchy than others. In the dating game, we want to date people who we believe are ‘out of our league’. This makes us feel good about ourselves and from a biological perspective, it is the best way to ensure our DNA thrives.
If someone has confidence, this tells us that they must be an evolutionary catch. On an unconscious level, we are drawn to them because we think it will boost our status. Meanwhile, though, someone who thinks nothing of themselves will be ignored and will be taken advantage of. It sounds harsh but unfortunately, this is just human nature.
How to Boost Your Confidence
So how do you go about getting that boost in confidence? There are two different avenues to take and these are external and internal. External confidence is much easier to acquire but it’s the internal confidence that will make the real difference to who you are and how you feel about yourself. We’ll start with the easier, shallower option and then move onto the more profound change we can make.
Shallow Confidence Boost
The first thing you can do to give yourself an immediate confidence boost is to change what you can about yourself into what you think a successful person should look like. Most of us feel that those who are more attractive and smarter are usually more successful. One of the biggest reasons that we might feel bad about ourselves is that we don’t like the way we look.
Even small changes can give us a boost, bigger changes even more of a lift. For women, changing make-up, shoes, clothes and/or hairstyle or having a bright colour put into your hair can make quite a difference.
That was me
I went from a few strands of colour to bright colours all over my head. People stop me and say how much they like it, it makes them smile. To be honest it makes me smile and laugh, every time I catch sight of it.
The key is to be bold and to change things about yourself that you wouldn’t normally consider. The changes have to be big enough to be noticeable, after all, that is the whole point.
For men, this might mean wearing a suit or a smart jacket if you normally wear casual clothes. Changing your hairstyle, maybe adding bright colour to make you stand out, wearing it shorter or growing it longer. Growing a moustache or beard or removing them. Whatever it takes to make you feel different.
Inner confidence, as it says, does come from within. There are many books and courses on the subject of building self confidence.
You’ll dress more confidently and that will make other people treat you differently. In turn, this will make you feel more confident and you will start to become more confident. But if you want to truly upgrade your confidence then you need to do more work on that internal feeling of contentment. And you know where this comes from? It comes from learning to stop worrying about what other people think.
This is what confidence really is. The most confident person in the room is the person who spreads themselves out in a way that isn’t done to make them ‘look more impressive’ but which is done in a way that makes them feel comfortable regardless of what others think. The truly impressive person is the person who isn’t afraid of upsetting someone with what they say. They aren’t about to agree with the general consensus just so that they can feel liked. They speak their mind – while of course still being respectful to others.
So how can you get to this stage?
Where you genuinely stop caring what others think? The answer is that you have to know yourself and you have to know what’s important to you. Spend some time reflecting and finding what your life’s ‘goal’ is, what your true purpose is and what you want to accomplish. Once you’ve done this, you will be able to start working toward that goal and focussing your energy on those things that matter to you. And once you’ve done that, you will be able to shrug off the insults or the opinions of others.
People are teasing you for being short? What does it matter when your goal is to become a great writer? Not sure if a group of people like you? What does it matter when you know who your true friends are? Knowing yourself and judging yourself by your own standards will make you immune to the judgments of others and will help you to strengthen your resolve and your determination.
And now, you will become someone who is much more interesting and much more engaging. Your passion will be apparent in the way you speak and the fact that you aren’t so worried about what other people think of you will make you much more enigmatic and interesting. People are going to start trying to please you. And this is the route of supreme, bulletproof confidence.
Training Your Confidence
Like everything else, this confidence won’t appear overnight. It needs to be trained and it needs to be practiced. In other words, we become better at doing whatever it is that we do often. If you want to be more confident and stop worrying about what others think, then you need to subject yourself to things that you would normally find daunting and continually reinforce your positive feelings.
Practice talking to people and striking up a conversation and always remind yourself that it doesn’t matter what happens. You are developing yourself into the person that you want to be and that is all that matters.
Remind yourself: it doesn’t matter what these people think and the worst that can happen is that you bemuse a stranger.
In order to dress in that bold and more colorful way, you need to stop worrying about what others might think and instead focus on how it makes you feel. And once you get a little bit of confidence like this, you’ll find that it begins to grow and grow into something huge. Everything you do will be reinforced by those around you and each win will only give you more confidence to focus on more challenges.
Self-confidence makes you walk tall, head held high with a bold stride. Once you have reached that point of believing you have it, you really won’t care what others think. It won’t matter what others think of the clothes you wear, of anything you might say or any work you have done. WHY?
Because you will know that all those things are fine, that other’s opinions on you and your life don’t matter. That the only opinion on the way you look or live your life is your own.
How do I know this?
Because I was once painfully shy. Pushing from my mother got me past the worst of it and I improved when I had children of my own. Yet still that total confidence was lacking. Bit by bit, with the aid of personal development books and courses I gained confidence.
Even with a certain amount of confidence in myself I still didn’t let the real me out for a long time. Then gradually it built until now I don’t care what other people think, if I like something, then that is good enough for me.
If it’s not good enough for others, that is their outlook and doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
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