The Damaging Negativity
Many of us will automatically answer “I don’t mind” to questions. From where we want to go, what to do, the chores, what to eat etc.
At times we do think first and still say ‘I don’t mind’ because we think it’s a nicer response when asked a question.
Instead of expecting everyone to do what we want, we pretend not to have an opinion in order to ensure everyone else is happy.
Although it can seem like a nice thing to do, the end result can be that you become resentful, feeling you have to subjugate you own wants, needs and desires for the sake odf peace.
We all have the power of being positive but we have to make a conscious effort to use it rather than responding automatically.
- Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life’s less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.
- Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.
- If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you’re likely an optimist — someone who practices positive thinking.
Often we try to avoid the responsibility of making the wrong choice, so we say ‘I don’t mind’, thereby giving someone else the responsibility of deciding upon whatever it is.
Of course, there’s a good chance that everyone will do the same, which then slows things down because no one wants to make a decision.
Another danger is that you end up seeming disinterested as though you really don’t care enough to give an answer. That can be annoying when someone is offering you a drink or refreshments, for example, as either you get nothing or something you don’t like.
Sometimes the other person will then give their opinion and you end up doing what they want instead. This can lead to resentment as you can feel as though you never get to do what you want.
Others can also find it irritating having to always make the decisions.
Speaking Your Mind
‘I don’t mind’ is essentially basically conflict avoidance of discussions and can make you look as though you can’t make decisions.
There’s nothing actually impolite about stating a preference unless you use an aggressive tone.
Make sure you make it clear that you are open to other people’s opinions too. Instead of ‘I don’t mind’, try: ‘I’d prefer we had the lasagne tonight but I’m open to other options’. See, that doesn’t seem so difficult, does it?
Whether you want to be more positive or stay more negative, it’s a choice you make. Use your mind to be more positive.
Can it transform the way you think, the beliefs you hold and your life in general?
Wanting our lives to change, doesn’t make it happen but we often don’t know how to do anything about it. We assume that our lives will change of their own accord and that we will then change as a result. Then we hope we will feel happier and more confident because of it.
But of course, it doesn’t happen that way.
By acting the way we want to be, we then begin to feel that way and as a consequence, our life changes too! This sequence of events is what we call the “Law of Attraction.”
How it Works
Want to be more successful? Discover the power of being positive to start making the changes you want in yourself and your life.
When you begin to act as though you’re already successful, people then treat you as a successful person and give you more opportunities. In that way you seem to be ‘luckier’.
It’s not chance, it’s having the more positive mindset, that is drawing the opportunities towards you.
Want to be richer? Act richer. Want to do better at work? Believe you can. Want to be smarter? Act smarter.
This is closely related to what are known as ‘self-fulfilling prophecies’. These are situations where you actually change your behavior in line with your beliefs.
Ever lost something, looked for it for ages only to have a friend come up and find it within seconds? You convinced yourself the item was lost and this belief stopped you from finding it.
The same thing can happen in our career or love life. If you tell yourself you’re a failure then your unconscious mind will continually sabotage your success in those areas.
Those beliefs are limiting beliefs, once fixed into your subconscious, they operate to protect you, or so they think. They keep your life in the lines laid out by your fixed beliefs, even though they are no longer relevant.
What can you do?
You need to eliminate doubt to become successful in any area of your life. Does that seem overly simple? It is but it’s also hard to do as we tend to self sabotage without even realising it.
An example is: You believe you are no good at your job and that reflects in your demeanour while at work. It will affect the way you carry yourself, slouching rather than standing tall, the way you interact and even making you avoid responsibility.
That means that promotions aren’t forthcoming which then further makes you feel that you can’t do the job, more reinforcement of you beliefs.
The same thing happens in dating. Your demeanour puts others off, once again helping to make this a self fulfilling prophecy.
Ask yourself why you feel this way and then decide you are no longer that person. That you can do the job well, find love and be a positive caring person.
Break the cycle and step into a bvetter version of yourself.
Then start behaving as though you believe in yourself. That means walking tall, caring about your appearance, taking some risks and being more assertive, thereby giving off an air of confidence. You’ll find you attract more positive attention and that this can lead to better results as well as improving the way you think about yourself.
Take positive steps
Say goodbye to old negative habits and welcome the new person you have become.
Maybe you will start out quaking in your shoes but within a very short time it will be a habit and your confidence will grow. Look people in the eye and smile more. It will make you feel good as well as those that see the smile.
Be grateful for everything and everyone you have in your life it will make you feel happier. Gratitude is a great habit to get into, you can’t be negative when you are feeling gratitude because it is so uplifting.
The more you check the negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts, the better your life will become. You will discover the power of being positive.
Step into your future with confidence.
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