How to Identify Toxic People

It’s not just things around you that can bring you down. Sometimes, there are certain types of people who will discourage you and make you think and see life in a negative way. Sadly, seeing things negatively leaves no room for your positive side to grow. These types of people delight in being cruel and unkind.

Toxic people can bring misery to your life with their negativity and the way they constantly chip away at your self esteem. That is why it is important that you learn how to identify toxic people for your own well being and health too.


  • Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.

Some types to be aware of. Learn how to identify toxic people.

Impossible to Please

There are people who are really hard to please. Sometimes, it is better to accept the fact that you will never please them no matter what you do. That despite any efforts on your part this will not change.

At some point in your life, you will come across people who will not treat you well, be disrespectful and will try to badmouth you to others for no reason. The best thing that you can do in this kind of situation is to simply walk away. Don’t bother trying to convince them otherwise as it will be futile.Impossible to please

Real friends are the ones whom we can rely on in the times when we need a shoulder to cry on or any type of support. Unfortunately, there are people who pretend to be your friend but only because you are useful to them. Fake friends only remember you when they need your help. For this reason, it is essential that you are careful when choosing people who you include in your circle of friends.

It also pays to know the qualities of friends who can bring you down instead of helping you get up after failing. “Fake” friends don’t want to help you in any way, they prefer to see you struggle and often get a kick out of it. They want to see you get in trouble and do something wrong. This type of friend also turns their back on you and brings you down by not being there when you needed them the most and by not staying true to their promises.


Bullies make the life of people more complicated. They prioritise their own needs and feelings over the people around then. Bullies use their negativity to scare and intimidate you as well as manipulate your thoughts. Sometimes the bullying can physical as well. They will say and do anything to make you do what they want you to do for them. They manipulate people for their own personal gain.

Unforgiving People

All people make mistakes. What’s important is that you make an effort to correct any mistakes, learn from it/them and try to ensure you don’t commit the same mistake again. Unforgiving   How to Identify Toxic PeopleHowever, there are many unforgiving people who find it hard to forgive a wrong and will then not support you because of past mistakes even though you acknowledge them and try to do better.

Use the past as a guide of what not to do so the mistakes aren’t repeated in the present and future. If the people around you constantly judge you based on the past or use such mistakes against you over and over again, they need to be avoided.

Everyone deserves a second chance but some are very rigid in their thinking and don’t agree.

Drama Queen

Yes! Drama queens can also bring you down. They are the type of people who always want to create controversy and trouble for no apparent reason.  The sometimes the best option with this sort of person is to walk away and not get drawn into the drama but it depends upon how close you are to them.

Try to stand back and look at them dispassionately. It can then be easier to deal with the situation and to stay calm. Don’t be drawn in but try to work out why they have the need to behave in this way. Why they feel the need to create a storm to be seen and heard. This can be a self esteem issue and sometimes a few pointers can help. If not, walk away the minute they start any drama. Without an audience it will seem pointless.

People Who Insist That You Should Be Someone Else

Be proud of who you are! You have to create your own identity and not the one that is copied from others.Always be yourself There is no better feelings than to know that the people around you accept you for who you are and not the one they want you to become.

Unfortunately, there are some people who do not see and appreciate the great strides forward that you have made in your life. They try to change you into someone you aren’t. Sometimes though they feel threatened by the person you are becoming, especially if it means they no longer have the same hold over you. That they cannot control you as they did before.

It can be easy to slip back when this happens because it is easier. Try not to though because the opposition shows that you are changing and improving your life. You are finally stepping into the person you are meant to be.


Surprising as that seems this too can happen! We really can and o bring ourselves down, behave in a toxic manner to ourselves.

Self-criticism can be associated with anxiety and depression and other disorders. But not always. It has become quite a thing nowadays to continue where teachers and families left off and constantly put ourselves down.

Your value as a person does not come from who you are not but from who you are. Stop criticising yourself, it becomes a very easy habit to fall into! Keep a check on negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. Try listing all you are grateful for, gratitude is one of the fastest ways to get rid of negative thoughts.

It won’t be easy at first but the more you practice the easier it will become until it is almost automatic.
We are all different from each other. We should be celebrating the diversity we have on this planet rather than wasting time putting ourselves and others down.

We are each of us totally unique and perfect in our own way. After all there is no one as good at being you as YOU are.


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Comments and questions welcome.

4 thoughts on “How to Identify Toxic People”

  1. Identifying toxic people can be rather an easy thing to do but knowing how to deal with them can be the whole problem. What you have shared here is rather very immense and I value it all here. To be very honest. This is a great one to see here and it makes a whole lot of sense seeing it out here. Thank you so much for sharing here

    • Thank you for reading and commenting Nath, I am glad you found it helpful. 

      Sometimes people don’t realise that those close to them are putting them down and holding them back because it is so subtle. 

  2. There are a lot  of people who take pleasure in bringing down others, tearing at their spirit an d just generally causing them pain. It is important to be able to identify toxic people in your life as you can not progress unless you cut them away. Thank you for sharing this article about identifying toxic people in your life and what to do when you identify them

    • I agree, there are far too many people who are cruel to others, sometimes deliberately, sometimes without realising it. 

      Some, those that are toxic, do this repeatedly, uncaring of the effect upon their victim. It becomes such a regular occurrence and happens so gradually that often the victim does not understand what is happening until it is nearly too late.

      Those sort of people rarely change, they continue throughout life in exactly the same way sadly.

      Thank you for commenting, I am glad you found the post helpful.


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